You’re asking yourself ‘Am I ready to get married?’ We don’t know a soul in a serious relationship who hasn’t asked themselves that question. Or, the flip side of that, ‘What are the signs if I’m NOT ready for marriage?‘
You wrote…“Our relationship is getting pretty serious, and we’ve talked about getting married. I’m just not sure if I’m ready. I also don’t know if I’ll ever be. Is this normal? Are there any signs? Any tips or advice?”
Popping the question and getting married are big steps in anyone’s life. And sometimes we just need a little help to see things clearly. If you’re asking yourself if you’re ready to get married read through the checklist below to get a much better idea of the answer.
Top 10 Signs You’re ready for Marriage
10. You’re Done With Singledom
You love hanging out with your friends but the thought of going out to a club chatting up the opposite sex (or same sex) is no longer your MO. It was fun before but it no longer holds any interest for you. You’d much rather have lunch with your best friend or better yet have a night on the town with your sweetie.
9. You Love The Whole Package
You dated your fair share but there was always something that bugged you about each one of them. You dated the loud snorer, the big talker, the mega annoying laugher and couldn’t imagine spending the rest of your life with any of them.
You love that they almost always burns dinner when they try to cook you a meal. Or, that they sleep on their stomach to fall asleep—warts and all, you are in! All their little quirks are charming and you can’t help but love’em.
8. You’ve Reached A Major Goal
You may have just completed a big project or received that major promotion at work that you’ve been working hard towards. Or, maybe you’ve finally saved up enough cash to feel comfortable with the future. For you hitting that milestone is a sign that you’re ready to provide for your spouse and perhaps even a family.
7. You’re Scrimping & Saving
For guys, you sacrifice going out for lunch at work everyday and have put any major purchases on the back-burner—at least for a little while. You’ve created a diamond engagement ring fund and you’re eager to watch it grow from week to week.
For gals, it’s all about being responsible, but within reason. You still need to look good for him and be the best you can be. But, frivolous spending no longer seems fun when you’re thinking about future shopping trips while traveling together, and even a future home.
6. You Speak In Terms Of “We” NOT “Me”
We’re not talking about the royal “we” here. But instead the good old fashioned—you and me, us, together. If these terms make you want to run for the hills, then no wedding proposal is in your near future.
However, if you always consider his/her thoughts and feelings when making big decisions, you’re well on your way and are ready to get married.
5. You’ve Discussed Your Future & Didn’t Freak Out!
The two of you have made plans together not just for next week but for next year and beyond. You’ve both shared your hopes, dreams and ambitions with one another.
She knows of your dream to snowboard every mountain and you know of her hope to open a small business one day. It’s all out in the open. And, you’re excited to help and support each other in making all your dreams come true.
4. You Have The Support Of Friends & Family
While this is not a must, it sure does help a ton. Having your friends and family be big time fans of the person you’re going to marry is a great sign. They know you better than anyone else and they want to see you happy. If they’re raising a legitimate red flag, you would be wise to listen. Perhaps even reconsider any wedding plans, at least for the time being.
3. You Found Your Best Friend
You’re both on the same page with most things. You have a blast together whether you’re doing something or not. You can’t imagine life without them. And, if all the other points mentioned in this list make sense to you then the answer to Am I Ready to Get Married is a resounding yes!
2. You Know They Want To AS Much As You Do
This may seem like a no-brainer, but you’re both talking about being together in the future and getting married. And, you BOTH bring up these topics from time to time, then they are as excited about the prospect as you are. You’re both ready!
1. You’ve Got Marriage Proposals On The Brain
You’re both thinking about ways to propose and the ring. You want the proposal to be unique, special and memorable. You’re both trying to figure out the whole ring thing.
She’s been dropping hints about rings and you listen keenly. He not-so-cleverly asks you about your preference between white and yellow gold, and says incredulously, Did you know there was something called rose gold?
And, when it comes to household chores, the only sweeping that comes to mind for either of you is how she will be swept off her feet.
Top 5 Signs You’re Not Ready To Get Married
5. Pressure From Friends & Family
If you’re planning on getting married due to pressure from friends or family. Or you think getting married will make your relationship stronger. Step back and re-evaluate.
If the relationship has been on the rocks lately, don’t get engaged in the hopes that it will solve all your problems. Take your time. There’s no rush. A marriage proposal should never be used as a quick fix.
4. Not Being Clear-Headed
If you’re getting ultimatums, being backed into a corner, or pressured to pop the question and considering it, you’re not thinking with a clear head. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. If it starts off on “a do or die” front, that’s a tell tale sign of what’s to come in the years ahead.
3. Unsure about Commitment
If you’ve been with your honey for years, and everyone is wondering what’s taking you so long, you need to consider that concern. If you’re claiming commitment-phobia, you need to understand how that can plague someone who loves you and is willing to spend the rest of their life with you.
So if you’re not sure you can commit but it’s been years that you two have been together—then chances are they may not be the right one for you. Be fair. Don’t stick it out, thinking things might change. They deserve to know the truth. It’s not right to hedge your bets, waiting to see if something better will come along. Fish or cut bait !
2. Not Sharing & Discussing Your Concerns
Why are you asking yourself “Am I ready to get married? What’s really standing in the way?
Are you worried that you’ll never see your friends again? Unsure of spending the rest of your life with a single person? The former can be remedied, by being open about it and talking about your fears. The latter however is a huge problem.
1. You Speak In Terms Of “Me” NOT “We”
If the words you and me, us and together rarely come to mind. Or, you often talk about your future and think about what you want to do later in life, then a wedding proposal shouldn’t be any part of the near future.
Until you reach the point where you consider their feelings and thoughts when making decisions, you just aren’t ready.
If any of this last group sound at all familiar, take it as a resounding NO in answer to the question “Am I ready to get married”…. You, my friend, are not ready for marriage. Take heart, it doesn’t mean you never will be. It just means you’re not ready right now.
However, if our Top 10 rings true for you (pun intended), you’re ready… so check out all the other sections of this site.