Both my father and my fiance's father passed away. Mine, about 18 months ago and my fiance's when he was a child.
I'm trying to think of ways to honor them during our engagement and wedding. We are having two engagement parties, one is being given by my mother and the other by good friends of my fiance's family.
The one my mother is giving is fairly formal and the first time the two extended families will meet. The other party is an outdoor luncheon at the house of the family friends.
We know that for the wedding we're going to put a picture of both dads on the seating card table. My dad's picture will have a glass of scotch and a cigar in front of it(two of his favorite things to do during a celebration). My fiance's father will have a glass of champagne. I'm also going to have a locket that my dad gave to my mom attached to my bouquet so that my father is with me going down the aisle.
I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas on what we can do for the engagement parties? Should both dads be honored at each party or should each dad just be honored at one of the parties?
We don't want any of the tributes to be sad but we do want them to know that they are remembered and missed.
Advice from the Engagement Experts Team
Engagement Party and Wedding Tributes: It's always tough when our parents aren't there to share some of the most important days of our lives.
What you set up for the wedding sounds really lovely and respectful.
In terms of the engagement parties, here are some of our thoughts.
Both fathers should be honored at both parties. If they were both alive today, they would both be present at each of the events (and may still be in some form or another) so it only seems natural that they should both be acknowledged at both parties.
Your mother's party will be easier to arrange because your mother is hosting the party. The one being held by the family friends could be a little trickier because you may not want to impose anything on them since they have generously offered to throw you an engagement party in their home. So you need to consider that when deciding what to do.
Here are some ideas on how to pay tribute to your dads at your engagement parties.
You said your mother's was going to be fairly formal so we're assuming that a sit down meal will be offered.
Set a place for both dads at the family table and mention them during a speech. It's a really nice way of having them around for most of the party. And by mentioning the place settings and them in a short speech you'll be honoring them and their 'presence' to both families.
For the engagement luncheon, how about sending flowers? You could send a large bouquet as a hostess gift along with two identical bouquets consisting of a single flower with lots of greenery.
The single flowers would represent each dad. Choosing a large orchid or some other exotic bold flower would work best and will not only represent your dads better but also make a more appealing arrangement.
You could let the host and hostess know that you are sending them and why. You won't be inconveniencing them but adding to the party decor and it will be a lovely way of having both dads present.
Whether you mention it to the guests at the party is completely your choice but close family will know what they are and what they represent.
If anyone else has any ideas we'd love to hear them and if you have a chance let us know what you ended up doing.
Best wishes to you both and congratulations!
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