Don't Like My Engagement Ring!

by Ariella
(Texas)

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a few years and we've known for a long time that our relationship was getting serious and that someday we would get engaged and then get married.

Over the course of our relationship we have come across engagement rings and have discussed them but that was quite a while back and things change.

Last week he proposed and pulled out the engagement ring and I really don't like it. Ugh!

I'm sure he thought about all the rings and diamonds that we looked at in the past and thought he was getting me just what I wanted. And if I really think about I can see why he would think that I would like the ring but I really don't.

So what should I do? Do I wear it so that I don't hurt his feelings? I think it would be awful to tell him that I don't like the ring he chose for me and saved up to buy.

Do I just keep quiet about things?

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what a relief
by: Anonymous

I am so thankful for this post. I was a sneaky goose last Sunday. I found out that my boyfriend bought my engagement ring and I snooped and found it. I remembered all of the pictures I sent him of the infinity style and the antique looks.

I recalled the giddyness I felt when I heard he was taking my sister with him to keep him on track. All of that went out the window when I opened the box and saw a single solitaire ring with with white gold.

I shut the box so quickly and I wanted to just cry from disappointment. My mind was swirling because I felt like he didn't know me at all. I thought that if he can't pick out what he thinks I like now......what is he going to do with bigger things.

I searched the internet for forums or blogs that could help me shape my thoughts. I love my boyfriend more than anything. He really is the number one man in my life. I felt soooo disappointed. I will say that when I read this post, I realized that I was disappointed not so much in how small the ring was but the style. I don't care about rocks, I cared about statement.

I talked him briefly (not on the fact that I snooped but my expectations) and the way he described the ring to me made me realize how proud he was to have picked it out.

This ring is not my style at all but since there is a man that I love more anything, I think that I will have to suck this one up for about 1-5 years until I decide I want to upgrade. I loved this post because it helped me sift through my feelings about the ring and what really mattered. Thanks!!

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Didn't Like My Engagement Ring Either
by: Anonymous

I had told my boyfriend that I did not want a traditional diamond engagement ring.

I ended up seeing what he was selecting for me on the computer one day and guess what - it was a traditional diamond solitaire with lots of little diamonds on the band - NOT me at all!

I had sent him some images of rings I liked and it could not have been further from my taste and style - plus it cost MORE money than I wanted him to spend.

I didn't know what to say, but I knew I would not be happy wearing it and I wanted to be honest with him. I told him I thought the ring was beautiful, but that it was too much bling for everyday wear.

He was glad I told him, and I ended up with a ring that was much more my style and cost a lot less. Guys can get caught up in marketing and societal standards, so I think it is important to be honest about what you want.

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Your Engagement Ring Conundrum
by: Engagement Experts Team

There are a couple of ways you can go on this and in the end the decision really has to be yours but since you asked, we will answer!

Two of the main components in any marriage are honesty and understanding.

So be honest with your fiance and he should be understanding but first think about why you don't like the engagement ring.

Is it because you honestly don't like the style and can't imagine wearing it for the rest of your life? Or is it because it isn't good enough? Your friends have bigger and better ones, the diamond is too small..etc..

You need to also think about what it means to you that he went out and tried to find you (what he thought would be) the perfect ring.

Does that hold a dear place in your heart? Will that feeling go away if you talk to him and subsequently exchange engagement rings?

Is it good enough for you for the time being that he went out and bought you something he hoped you would like? Always knowing that one day in the future you can get a new diamond ring to celebrate an anniversary or some other special event in your lives, and wear that one instead on a daily basis to meet your sense of personal style while keeping the original for its sentimental value.

Could it also be that you're a little upset because what you always dreamed about didn't come true? Or is it simply a question of not liking the style?

Think about it seriously and then decide. Your marriage will have tougher challenges than telling him that you aren't keen on the engagement ring he chose.

He may be a little disappointed in himself for not getting you the perfect ring but he also may be thrilled that you told him and that you now both know that you are starting your relationship with mutual understanding and honesty.

As we say throughout this site, you need to go with what feels right for you and to do that you need to be completely honest with yourself and what's important to you.

Either way, you're a winner--because what the engagement ring symbolizes is so much more valuable than what it looks like.


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