Buying an Engagement Ring

Buying an engagement ring isn't rocket science but for most people it is the first time they're buying an important piece of jewelry—and that can be a little daunting. So here are two important questions that I always ask clients to consider when we look at or buy engagement rings.

The first is "what are you buying?". Yes, it sounds silly but people really need to think about that one. And, the second is all about budget. "So how much are you going to spend?"

After posing the questions to them I would always tell them the same story about working for a successful jewelry designer who used to meet weekly with diamond dealers.

The dealers were always excited to show her the biggest, rarest, and best stones they had.

She would stop them dead in their tracks before they took out the stones and say "... if it's not within my budget I don't want to see them."

They knew what price range of diamonds she always bought but were eager to show her the more expensive stones. She never let them. After they left the office one day I asked her why she wouldn't at least look at them and she replied "Why would I look at diamonds that cost more than I'm willing to spend when it would only make me feel bad about what I don't have rather than happy about what I do have."

I completely understood, and after that day I never wanted to see those bigger and fancier diamonds because I was pleased with what we had and what we were working with..

The point in telling the story to clients was to let them know that they shouldn't look at rings outside their budget because it will just make them feel bad about what they can't afford instead of being excited about all the different choices that they do have.

Buying An Engagement Ring: Love or Jewelry

Engagement rings, based on history and tradition, are a symbol of your commitment and should not just be thought of as a piece of jewelry. The ring can be just about anything as long as it embraces your union and means something to the both of you.

DO consider all your options. You can buy a diamond engagement ring, a gemstone engagement ring or make your own out of a piece of string. The point here is to remember the symbolism behind the ring and not get carried away by social pressure and status. The choices are endless—Princess Diana, who could have just about anything chose a sapphire engagement ring which Kate Middleton proudly wears today.

DO understand what you're buying. Educate yourself on precious metals and gemstone and diamond grades. Learn about stone shapes and settings and how to recognize quality, and understand the 4 Cs of diamonds. You don't need an extensive knowledge (you can learn all you need to know on this website or many others) but make sure you understand what to look for and how to not get taken for a ride.

DO shop around. Buying an engagement ring today is easier than ever because of the internet. Reputable online jewelers will provide diamond grade certificates so you can compare apples to apples and get the best bling for your buck. They also offer great prices because they sell more volume than a local jewelry store.

DON'T feel pressured into buying a ring that's the latest style or trend. This is one piece of jewelry that will be worn daily for years to come and perhaps even passed down to future generations. Trends come and go but your engagement ring won't.

Buying An Engagement Ring: It's About Budget

The old adage of spending between two and three month's salary when buying an engagement ring was started by the business savvy folks at DeBeers who also imprinted into our brains that an engagement ring should contain a diamond because "diamonds are forever". Of course they'd want to play on our emotions and drain us of our very last cent—they're a diamond company!

DO set an appropriate budget with a long term view. Many couples realize after the fact that they buy engagement rings without looking at the big picture. A less expensive engagement ring can mean paying off their debts, or owning their first house that much sooner.

DO make a 'ring fund'. Set a realistic amount to save monthly way before you get engaged and put it in a separate account. Buying an engagement ring is no different than any other large purchase so planning for it is always a good idea.

DON'T spend beyond your means. The worst thing you could do is get yourselves into debt as you start your lives out together. For the guys out there, of course you need to buy an engagement ring of some sort but because she loves you, she'll appreciate that you didn't take a second mortgage on the house to put a massive rock on her finger.

DON'T feel pressured by a jeweler or salesperson into increasing your budget. Would you really expect a jeweler to advise you to spend less? "If he really loved her, he wouldn't mind parting with all his cash, right?" WRONG!

Marriage is a big step and you want to show everyone how serious and committed you both are—so save up, prioritize and make some sacrifices to be able to contribute to the 'ring fund'.

And, if for some odd reason your lady love asks you how much you spent (and she probably won't), go for one of these tried and true responses:

"Money doesn't matter as long as you're happy"

"I could never put a price on my love for you"

"Seeing the happiness in your eyes is worth all the money in the world"

One last thing to keep in mind when buying an engagement ring, she'll likely be wearing the ring for the rest of her life so make sure you put some thought into her personal sense of style.